Depth-oriented relational work for partners ready to understand what keeps happening between them — not just manage it.
Free 15-min consultation · In-person or telehealth ·
Most couples who come to therapy aren't in crisis. They're in a pattern — the same argument with different words, the distance that arrived slowly and is now hard to close. The love that's still there, buried under accumulated grievance or exhaustion — that's the part that made you look for this.
You've probably tried to fix it yourselves. You're here because something isn't shifting on its own.
“Understanding is love's other name. If you don't understand, you can't love.”
— Thich Nhat HanhYou've stopped bringing up the hard things because it always ends the same way.
You're not looking for permission to leave. You're looking for something to actually change.
One of you is more reluctant. That's fine. Plenty of meaningful couples work starts with one person in the room.
“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh“When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.”— Martin Buber
I work from a depth-oriented relational frame, drawing on object relations theory, Gestalt therapy, and somatic awareness. This is not primarily a communication skills curriculum.
Both of you are in the room — and so am I, paying close attention to what arises between you. Not just to the story of what happened at home, but to the choreography of the interaction as it unfolds now. Who moves toward, who withdraws. Where the nervous system activates.
Object relations theory helps us understand why the same fight keeps happening: each person carries internal models of relationship formed in early experiences. Those models activate in intimate partnership in ways they don't activate anywhere else. The work names the pattern — without blame on either side.
Understanding doesn't change a pattern. A different experience does — one that happens in real time, in this room, with both of you present. That's the goal: not just seeing it, but having genuine contact with each other through it.
I work with couples who are intelligent, self-aware, and caught. The pattern is usually clear to both of them. What isn't clear is how to interrupt it from inside it. That's the work.
My approach with couples draws on relational and depth-psychological frameworks: object relations theory, Gestalt therapy, somatic and polyvagal-informed work. I'm interested in what's happening beneath the surface — what the pattern is protecting, what each person is actually needing in the moments things go wrong.
M.A. Integral Counseling Psychology, California Institute of Integral Studies · Palo Alto, CA
Full BiographyCouples therapy is often not covered by insurance as a standalone benefit. However, if one partner is attending primarily for their own mental health, partial coverage may apply — worth discussing when you reach out.
For those without applicable coverage, I offer a sliding-scale rate for a limited number of sessions. Please mention this when you reach out.
A real conversation — not a form. Both partners can join or just one. We decide together if this is the right fit.
An unhurried intake. I listen to both of you — and to what happens between you. We clarify what you're working toward.
50-minute sessions. In-person at 667 Lytton Ave, Suite #9, Palo Alto — or via telehealth throughout California.
Individual therapy can be a powerful way to work on a relationship. Many of the same dynamics surface in the room even when only one person is present — and individual work often shifts the relational field in unexpected ways. We can start there and see what opens up.
Couples therapy as a standalone benefit is typically not covered. However, if one partner is the identified patient and sessions address a specific mental health diagnosis, partial coverage may apply. I'm in-network with Aetna, Wellfleet, and Stanford SHIP. Please mention your situation when you reach out and we'll work through what makes sense.
Most couples work with me for 3–6 months, though some continue longer. We check in on progress together and adjust the timeline as we go. Some couples come in for focused work around a specific rupture; others are looking for longer-term relational change.
Couples therapy isn't only for couples who are certain they want to stay. Sometimes the question itself — whether to stay or go — is what needs to be worked through. The goal is clarity and genuine contact, whatever that leads to.
My approach draws on object relations theory, Relational Gestalt therapy, and somatic/polyvagal-informed work. I'm interested in what's happening beneath the surface — the internal working models each person brings, how those are activated in the presence of the other, and what becomes possible when the pattern becomes visible to both partners simultaneously.
Yes. Telehealth is available throughout California. Both partners can join from the same location or separately. In-person sessions are available at 667 Lytton Ave, Suite #9, Palo Alto.
Couples Therapy · Palo Alto & Online California
A free 15-minute consultation is a low-pressure way to see if this is the right fit. Both partners can join — or just one of you to start.
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